"She's not posting?"
"Is everything alright?"
"What's going on?"
"This is catastrophic!"
"Is there anything, anything I can do?!"
A) No, I'm not posting.
B) Because I'm really, really tired and want to go to bed.
C) Everything's fine, silly, I'm just tired! :)
D) Nothing's going on, I'm just letting you know in a calm, orderly not-an-actual-post fashion that I'm not going to post for real today. Sorry!
E) Yes. Yes it is.
Is five too big of an "Uh Oh" number?